THE THIRTY BOB KID - autobiography of a Northern Bastard from Factory Street (east) to Coronation Street and beyond is is Dave's autobiography. There's a separate page about it here.

LANKY SPOKEN HERE! - Dave's legendary comic guide to Lancashire words, phrases, sayings and "customs." 


Contents include: Basic Expressions; Lanky Table Etiquette; At the Pub; Lanky Insults; Fightin' Talk; Expletives; Visiting the Doctor; Affectionate Terms; Lanky Road Signs; Useful Words and Phrases and more.

The book was made into an EMI LP with songs and posh BBC translations and re-released 25 years after.


Click on the links or any of the book covers below for  LANKY SPOKEN HERE! and  the equally hilarious followup book LANKY PANKY!  for  Dave's classic guides to Lancashire dialect.

LANCASHIRE LAUGHTER AND TEARS  - is a collection of his award winning Lancashire dialect poetry and stories.

Great presents for Christmas, Birthdays and to educate those unfortunate enough not to have been born in our great county.




Also available...

HOW TO BE A CRAFTY CRUISER : tips, tricks and secrets for saving time, money and hassle on cruise ship holidays. (Including Booking tips; Cruisin' & Boozin' ; Onboard Must-do's; Stuff to take; Technology Tips and Queuebusters and more). Indispensable for novice or even semi experienced cruisers.






tThe Zookeeper at Tickety Zoo has vanished! Where has he gone? Has he been (whisper it) EATEN?!!! If so, which animal did the deed? Ace doggy detective Sherlock McSporran is called in to solve the mystery.

He's the man to find out. Or is he? He may NOT be as smart  he thinks.
It's a colourful and funny rhyming story with a twist in the tail.
But which animal's tail gets twisted?
Children and adults alike will have a great time together finding out.

Full of quirky animals - a great funny read.

Written by Dave Dutton and Illustrated by Jo Blakeley.

If you're a publisher, please get in touch.

Five star reviews - "This is a great book for children, although I'm 45 (and a half!) and I loved it too. As a teacher I have read hundreds of children's books and this stands out as one of those rare 'instant classics'. It should be read aloud, again and again. The writing is of very high quality and Dave Dutton's humorous text is matched perfectly by Jo Blakeley's wacky, colourful illustrations.
Buy a copy of this book for your children and then buy one for yourself!"

"My 15 month old enjoys this book lots and as he gets older will get more and more out of it as he understands the story. For now, he enjoys listening to me read and we make the animal noises as we go along! The illustrations are lovely and compliment the story well. A fun book to read together."

"My daughter is 3 and adores this book. It is fun to read with its humour and rhyme. And the writing is up there with Julia Donaldson. Highly recommended."

Fantastic! I have a 4 year old who gets bored easily with most books but he absolutely loves this one!

Definitely a big hit with my 4 year old! He was in fits of laughter


The Book of Famous Oddballs! quirks, bizarre stories and weird eccentricities of famous folk. You won't believe what they got up to!


Horrors! - Chilling true tales. Bit gory but very interesting.


The Little eBook of Insults - Squelches; putdowns and retorts for all occasions.

The Thirty Bob Kid - his funny and thought-provoking autobiography. (see this page too)